When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever. At work, we're taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We're not listening. And no one is listening to us. Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected. When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how. * With a new afterword by the author *.